Thus Spake A New Mother...

What they don't tell you but what you need to know during the initial months of having a baby:

1. 3 o'clock in the morning with a screaming newborn is *very* different from a 3 o'clock pyjama party with your friends.

2. There will be at least once when you are so frustrated that you want to slam your head against the wall, throw yourself to the ground and cry.

3. No matter how helpful your husband is he will never be able to do it like you.

4. Pumping is embarrassing, weird and you find yourself totally obsessing about how much milk goes in those bottles.

5. You will feel so vulnerable about your body and crave compliments more than ever before ("Wow, can't believe you had a baby" - works every time)

6. Your day will be scheduled by the TV shows (11 am - Saas Bahu (feeding), 2pm - Tamil soap (cereals & veggies)...4pm Friends (nap time) 3 more hours until hubby comes home)

7. A long, hot shower for your achy body (without you imagining your baby crying himself hoarse/ images of him tumbling from the bed)will feel like being on a Caribbean cruise.

8. You will become obsessive about the order that everything in the darling's cupboard (diapers to the left, burping cloths to the right, nappies folded triangularly and so on & so forth)

9. You will feel envious at least once of a couple leisurely sitting at a café with a steaming cup of coffee (probably on a sunday after they just woke up and had sex 30 minutes earlier)

10. The dress that doesn't fit you anymore are the ones that look most alluring and seem totally in fashion.