Our Misadventures In Parenting

That my boy has settled down at his school and well-adjusted to his routine has knocked one worry off my list. On day one, it was alarming to see my little boy with a dangling satchel in tow, trudge almost half-a-mile from the school gate, cross the tiny little bridge in his campus and climb a flight of stairs to reach his class on his own. For a mother who has him chaperoned even at the play swing, this was akin to seeing him take-off on his first space mission. Its a different story how we actually followed him on the pretext of talking to his teacher, hovered near his class, pretended to be busy on the phone when some teacher passed by and stalked his return van journey for a week. Its with some conviction I can say that we have also managed to settle down. Today, two months down the line, its a matter of pride when Avyukt returns home with skip in his step and a new tale to tell.

First week, he was full of stories of the 'brown boy'. "Who is this brown-boy, Avy? Is he your friend?" "No. Brown boy sits next to me."
"What's his name?" Thinks hard for some time and says exasperatedly "Brown boy, mamma." Makes a poker face and says, "He looks like this no? He only is brown-boy" I pretend I understand him.

Friday he returns to say "Mamma, I pulled the jhuttu (ponytail) of Khushita" Worried I asked, "But why??" "She follows me everywhere, mamma. And today she went ahead of me in the play slide"
Huh uh! Is this supposed to mark the birth of the proverbial male ego? I tried to explain to my best how such behaviour won't fetch him any friends. Alas! He seemed defiant when it came to Khushita going ahead of him.

The other day he proclaimed the moment he jumped off his van, "Mamma, you know Veer is a boy!" Okay. A minute later, he continues in a higher octave, (Maybe he did not get the reaction he was expecting from me) "Mamma, mammma, Veer is a BOY!" "Oh! thats wonderful sweetheart. Er, how did you know?" and braced myself for an answer. Smugly he replied "Dhruv told me."

A week back Avy comes running late in the night, "Mamma, papa is telling all bad words." Giving an accusatory glance at his dad I ask, "What did papa tell, dear?" "Papa saying, go to bed" :|

Last evening Avyukt was busy with his "dip & dab" painting session at the dining table and in the process knocked a few items to the floor. Hubby reprimanded him telling he needed to be more careful or could end up hurting himself. Seeing Avy upset he tried to lighten the situation with a mock cry and pretended to imitate him. Mishearing Avyukt muttering to himself, hubby came down harsh on him again and said - Avyukt! No using bad words. How dare you say "bloody fellow?" Blah Blah..

Avyukt looks up perplexed at his dad and meekly says, "I said baby-fellow, papa. You crying like baby" Hubby looks sheepishly at me and tries to slink away. My smile wanes, as I hear Avy retrospectively muttering - "bleedy feelowh?"
Sigh!

As I write this, I hear him trying to convince his grandmom that he is a *real* doctor and he needs to operate her eye. He is upset she keeps cowering from him and wants her to keep her eye open as he operates on her with a bottle-opener and some Johnson Baby cream!

We are exactly only a month away from welcoming Avy's sibling to our warm fuzzy world and I am filled with excitement, wonder, woes, and worries of the jam-packed days ahead. Wish us luck.

My poor little squished ego

Of all the delusions that I may have, the one I definitely do not carry is that of my singing capabilities. I am no Lata Mangeshkar or an Asha Bhonsle is but plain knowledge but definitely am not a female voice version of Anu Malik too. Now Why am I raking this all of a sudden?

My son has caught the seasonsal flu and is at home at the time when I leave to work. Its not called the age of 'terrible two's' without reason. So for past few days he runs up to me, clings and starts bawling saying I am not supposed to leave him and go to work. I then cajole him, make up stories of a bad boss who will be bad to mamma if I dont work and end up making lots of promises to take him to his fav jhoola park; malls etc and feeling wretched leave home.

Well today was no different except that sonny boy was half sleepy with droopy eyes. So I thought why not sing him a lullaby of sorts and then can make a clean exit while he has sweet dreams. With such good intentions I cradled him and for whatever reasons the only song I could think of at that time was "Khwaja Mere Khwaja". I had just about crooned two lines of it when he mumbled - 'Mamma padathey'. Of course, what a stupid song to sing to a baby. I decided on my personal fav "Thode badmash ho tum" from Sawaariya. Within minutes my sleepy boy says - Mamma Padathey. Mamma don't sing. Each letter a little more pronounced than I would have liked to hear.

Silence.

I slided him to the arms of my much amused mother and embarassedly muttering that it was getting late to office, I booted from there. Babycenter lies when it says kids love to hear their mom sing and they dont mind off-key notes. I exactly now realise what they mean when they say "my family is my best critic".

My boy is ill and possibly wanted some quiet. Bad choice of songs, maybe. Hmm I think I need to learn some good lullaby's soon.

Marriage and everything else...

He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss." -- Anonymous

And that I say, is the key to most happy marriages. ;) But jokes apart marriage has a away of growing on you. Its a wonder what good companionship can actually do. In the age where quarter-life-crisis is the norm, 5 years of being married (with a child in tow) can be considered close to eternity. And going by this standard, it qualifies me to get a little preachy too.

However am not going to abuse my reader's sensibilities by stating the mundane of not stepping over each other's toes or ask to whisper sweet nothings all the time. Heck, there are times when all you would want is whack your spouse for mulling over a lost wicket while your child is contemplating using the sofa cushion as his potty-seat.

Marriage is just like - say shopping. You itch to wear that new outfit at every given opportunity till the sheen wears off. Not saying you discard your spouse like a well-worn dress, rather with the passage of time it gives the same comfiness of wearing your snug-fit old jeans. Bad comparison but conveys the message.

Sure its all cream and dream when things are going your way but life is adept at throwing the seemingly impossible situations. Do not pretend that he has no flaws or delude yourself that giving in just to avoid squabbles will lead to marital bliss.
Children, in-laws, finances, career, friends, personal priorities etc are all factors that only compounds the issue. Being good at either tennis or badminton and mastering different serves can sure come handy. :p Actually there is no single solution for a happy marriage, especially in today's times when there is so much extra pressure from all corners.

A good friend of mine is contemplating an affair just to get back at his super busy wife who hardly has time for him. Another ex-colleague of my hubby divorced his wife on grounds of uncordialness. She refused to return to his house after the delivery of her son and he promptly divorced her. Today he has remarried and has another child. An ex-classmate's husband ditched her for another since he could not handle the responsibilities of being a father! These are real people and not a figment of any imagination.

It is the age of instant gratification where even advertisements goad you to move on, even so it makes one wonder if relationships are so fickle afterall? Its funny actually when I narrate them to my mom and my grandmom who have been married for more than half a decade put together.I agree it helps not to judge upon others and possibly they all had their own valid reasons but it sure is unnerving. A single friend of mine surmised the other day "Marriage is definitely not for the faint-hearted, you know". I laughed and brushed aside her worries but maybe it means something.

Having said all this the joy of knowing there is somebody who loves you for what you are without any reservations and will stand by you whatever may come, makes life worth living all over again. Here's wishing you all the same kind of happiness.

Hello, again

Its been quite some time I visited this space but today I strangely feel compelled to write here. Like renewing an old friendship, I come to say a quiet 'Hello' to the blogging world. Like when we meet old friends and promise to keep in touch, I silently promise myself to write more often. There are so many things one wants to say but with a little passage of time conversation comes not very easily.

As I write this I hear my 2.7 year old son humming - 'Papa jag jayega' on a loop. It makes me laugh and want to write stories of him. I look out of my window and see bright lights of vehicles dotting the darkness of an early night painting a vivid digital picture for me. Life is indeed beautiful. It seems like the initial awkwardness and hesitation is already disappearing. With a self assurance to make regular appearances out here - Ciao

Rules 4 Writers

Take home the lessons & laugh along those who get it :)

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. The passive voice should never be used.
35. Do not put statements in the negative form.
36. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
37. A writer must not shift your point of view.
38. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
39. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
40. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
41. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
42. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
43. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
44. Always pick on the correct idiom.
45. The adverb always follows the verb.
46. Be careful to use the rite homonym.
47. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.