Portal Marriages: Boon or Bane?

The other day I read an article in paper which was all about the West rediscovering the "indian arranged marriage" system and extolling its great virtues etc etc. You ask me, I say any marriage works only when the concerned parties want to make it work.

Talking of marriages, I have a sis-in-law who is an engineer by qualification, working in a well-known MNC, quite good looking and with parents who have amassed enough money to give her a fairly grand wedding. The problem happens to be in getting the right groom.

We have gone through the rigamarole of taking professional 'wedding' pictures, getting the horoscope done and uploading them in several of the available marriage websites. This not enough we have also taken the paid membership to several of these sites so as to enable us in our 'search' for the perfect groom. Its been over 2 years now with no luck.

And its not just her, my younger sister, my best friend, the elder sister of another friend all seem to have come stuck at this point. The perfect groom simply seems to remain elusive.

Its my gut feel that the number of marriage portals sprouting eveyday is inversely proportional to the number of actual marriages that take place through them. Though I dont have any statistics to prove my point, I am assured that the number of marriages will surely have come down when compared to a decade ago when marriage portals were yet to make their way. Honestly, they are doing more of a disservice than so-called "bringing soulmates together".

Now you might think its just the bitterness in me talking but let me tell you my reasoning behind it. As long as the criterion for selection remains simple enough - goodlooking, well-settled, compatible, dats fine but with lakhs of profiles available at the tip of the pointer, they are spoilt for choice - which is not a very nice thing. So now nobody wants to ever compromise. Girls now reject grooms on the basis of their accent, moustache and family responsibilities that they shoulder. Grooms are no better for I have seen several rejections on the basis of height, color and for want of better qualified professionals.

The maddness has reached such extent that its now reduced to being amusing and plain fun. There was a proposal from a decent mumbai based family where the patriarch (a banker) wanted to know the school (10th, 12th) marks of the girl. Excuse me, whaat?

And yet another gentleman clearly stated in the profile of his son, that he was looking for a family where the girl had only a brother as her sibling. His logic - the girls parents will be taken care in their old age and wouldn't be a burden on his son. Wow! I simply didn't have words to reply.

And its not just parents who go maniac in the hunt there have been boys who are so particular of the sub-sect, ancestral village as well as the nakshatrams (star signs) that suit best for them. Whew!

Am not saying you should blindly agree to marry the first person your parents show to you but just give a sensible thought before rejecting a profile.

The only ones who are laughing their way to the banks happens to be the portal companies. With banner ads to newspaper pamphlets they are enticing every eligible girl and bachelor.

All I can say, good luck guys. :)

Thus Spake a New Mother (contd)

In the same breath, here are a few other truths...

1. The intense & insane love you will feel for your kid will send goosebumps down your spine.

2. You will be amazed to see the perfection of the tiny form and gush happily that it all works and how!

3. You will realize that nothing smells quite as divine as how your baby does.

4. Every time you see your husband being so, so gentle with him, your heart will swell with pride and love.

5. You will feel something nice about your strong, able body....no matter what it looks like.

6. Traffic jams, global warming, bad bosses....everything else will seem simply silly.

7. The first time you leave him even for a shortwhile will break your heart and when you return home to him your heart will flutter like it has never before.

8. You will mentally list up the places you want to show him, things you want to tell him and imagine his gurgles & giggles.

9. You will realize slowly that you can still travel, meet up with friends, and think of a career for yourself.

10. You will not be able to wait for him to utter his first word, the first independent step he will take & that very first hug.

Thus Spake A New Mother...

What they don't tell you but what you need to know during the initial months of having a baby:

1. 3 o'clock in the morning with a screaming newborn is *very* different from a 3 o'clock pyjama party with your friends.

2. There will be at least once when you are so frustrated that you want to slam your head against the wall, throw yourself to the ground and cry.

3. No matter how helpful your husband is he will never be able to do it like you.

4. Pumping is embarrassing, weird and you find yourself totally obsessing about how much milk goes in those bottles.

5. You will feel so vulnerable about your body and crave compliments more than ever before ("Wow, can't believe you had a baby" - works every time)

6. Your day will be scheduled by the TV shows (11 am - Saas Bahu (feeding), 2pm - Tamil soap (cereals & veggies)...4pm Friends (nap time) 3 more hours until hubby comes home)

7. A long, hot shower for your achy body (without you imagining your baby crying himself hoarse/ images of him tumbling from the bed)will feel like being on a Caribbean cruise.

8. You will become obsessive about the order that everything in the darling's cupboard (diapers to the left, burping cloths to the right, nappies folded triangularly and so on & so forth)

9. You will feel envious at least once of a couple leisurely sitting at a café with a steaming cup of coffee (probably on a sunday after they just woke up and had sex 30 minutes earlier)

10. The dress that doesn't fit you anymore are the ones that look most alluring and seem totally in fashion.

Swami Satchidananda Attains Samadhi

Pujya Swami Satchidananda attained his samadhi on the night October 12th at 8:10 p.m.
Though he lives in our thoughts and through his ideals, the world has lost a spiritual leader.

Making oneself useful to the society should indeed be the foremost objective of every one. Whenever opportunities arise, serve humanity in whatever way possible, considering such service as Seva of God. - Swami Satchidananda

Anandashram – A world-renowned spiritual centre propagating the ideal of Universal Love and Service has been a beacon-light to humanity and a solace for the poor and needy through its multifarious humanitarian activities. The Ashram, founded in 1931 by Beloved Papa Swami Ramdas and Pujya Mataji Krishnabai, was being ably guided by Pujya Swami Satchidanandaji.

(Pic courtesy: Yogasanft) The bhajan hall at Anand ashram with the life size images of the divine masters Pujya Swami Ramdas & Pujya Mata Krishnabai.

Dangerous Liaisons

Controversy seems to be the easiest route to success. Be it movies, models, politics even lame TV serials today rely on some controversy or the other to up their TRP's. Nobody cares how you reach as long as you are up there.

The latest controvery seems to be around the book - "The Jewel of Medina" - a historical fiction which is about the child-bride of Prophet Muhammad. Author Sherry Jones saccharinely says its a well researched "love story" between the 54 year old Prophet and 6 year old A’ishah who happens to be the daughter of his brother. Aa-a-ah!

Random House who had reportedly paid an advance of $100,000 slowly distanced themselves when they received "cautionary advice not only that the publication of this book might be offensive to some in the Muslim community, but also that it could incite acts of violence by a small, radical segment" and realized they could be in the epicenter of a storm. Published by Beaufort Books the book could well be on its way to become another bestseller.

It seems like the West can't have enough of courting danger. Like forbidden love they seem to be so enamored by Islam and their prophets. As for me, I definitely want to lay my hands on this one and find if the book provides "humanizing glimpses into the origins of the Islamic faith, and the nature of love, through the eyes of a truly unforgettable heroine - Amazon" or if it is "soft porn which is inflammatory, unfair to Islam, and unfit to publish" as described by Prof Denise Spellberg.

After "The Da Vinci Code" historical fictions by relatively unknown or first time authors seem to have become the trend.