The other day I read an article in paper which was all about the West rediscovering the "indian arranged marriage" system and extolling its great virtues etc etc. You ask me, I say any marriage works only when the concerned parties want to make it work.
Talking of marriages, I have a sis-in-law who is an engineer by qualification, working in a well-known MNC, quite good looking and with parents who have amassed enough money to give her a fairly grand wedding. The problem happens to be in getting the right groom.
We have gone through the rigamarole of taking professional 'wedding' pictures, getting the horoscope done and uploading them in several of the available marriage websites. This not enough we have also taken the paid membership to several of these sites so as to enable us in our 'search' for the perfect groom. Its been over 2 years now with no luck.
And its not just her, my younger sister, my best friend, the elder sister of another friend all seem to have come stuck at this point. The perfect groom simply seems to remain elusive.
Its my gut feel that the number of marriage portals sprouting eveyday is inversely proportional to the number of actual marriages that take place through them. Though I dont have any statistics to prove my point, I am assured that the number of marriages will surely have come down when compared to a decade ago when marriage portals were yet to make their way. Honestly, they are doing more of a disservice than so-called "bringing soulmates together".
Now you might think its just the bitterness in me talking but let me tell you my reasoning behind it. As long as the criterion for selection remains simple enough - goodlooking, well-settled, compatible, dats fine but with lakhs of profiles available at the tip of the pointer, they are spoilt for choice - which is not a very nice thing. So now nobody wants to ever compromise. Girls now reject grooms on the basis of their accent, moustache and family responsibilities that they shoulder. Grooms are no better for I have seen several rejections on the basis of height, color and for want of better qualified professionals.
The maddness has reached such extent that its now reduced to being amusing and plain fun. There was a proposal from a decent mumbai based family where the patriarch (a banker) wanted to know the school (10th, 12th) marks of the girl. Excuse me, whaat?
And yet another gentleman clearly stated in the profile of his son, that he was looking for a family where the girl had only a brother as her sibling. His logic - the girls parents will be taken care in their old age and wouldn't be a burden on his son. Wow! I simply didn't have words to reply.
And its not just parents who go maniac in the hunt there have been boys who are so particular of the sub-sect, ancestral village as well as the nakshatrams (star signs) that suit best for them. Whew!
Am not saying you should blindly agree to marry the first person your parents show to you but just give a sensible thought before rejecting a profile.
The only ones who are laughing their way to the banks happens to be the portal companies. With banner ads to newspaper pamphlets they are enticing every eligible girl and bachelor.
All I can say, good luck guys. :)
Talking of marriages, I have a sis-in-law who is an engineer by qualification, working in a well-known MNC, quite good looking and with parents who have amassed enough money to give her a fairly grand wedding. The problem happens to be in getting the right groom.
We have gone through the rigamarole of taking professional 'wedding' pictures, getting the horoscope done and uploading them in several of the available marriage websites. This not enough we have also taken the paid membership to several of these sites so as to enable us in our 'search' for the perfect groom. Its been over 2 years now with no luck.
And its not just her, my younger sister, my best friend, the elder sister of another friend all seem to have come stuck at this point. The perfect groom simply seems to remain elusive. Its my gut feel that the number of marriage portals sprouting eveyday is inversely proportional to the number of actual marriages that take place through them. Though I dont have any statistics to prove my point, I am assured that the number of marriages will surely have come down when compared to a decade ago when marriage portals were yet to make their way. Honestly, they are doing more of a disservice than so-called "bringing soulmates together".
Now you might think its just the bitterness in me talking but let me tell you my reasoning behind it. As long as the criterion for selection remains simple enough - goodlooking, well-settled, compatible, dats fine but with lakhs of profiles available at the tip of the pointer, they are spoilt for choice - which is not a very nice thing. So now nobody wants to ever compromise. Girls now reject grooms on the basis of their accent, moustache and family responsibilities that they shoulder. Grooms are no better for I have seen several rejections on the basis of height, color and for want of better qualified professionals.
The maddness has reached such extent that its now reduced to being amusing and plain fun. There was a proposal from a decent mumbai based family where the patriarch (a banker) wanted to know the school (10th, 12th) marks of the girl. Excuse me, whaat? And yet another gentleman clearly stated in the profile of his son, that he was looking for a family where the girl had only a brother as her sibling. His logic - the girls parents will be taken care in their old age and wouldn't be a burden on his son. Wow! I simply didn't have words to reply.
And its not just parents who go maniac in the hunt there have been boys who are so particular of the sub-sect, ancestral village as well as the nakshatrams (star signs) that suit best for them. Whew!
Am not saying you should blindly agree to marry the first person your parents show to you but just give a sensible thought before rejecting a profile.
The only ones who are laughing their way to the banks happens to be the portal companies. With banner ads to newspaper pamphlets they are enticing every eligible girl and bachelor.
All I can say, good luck guys. :)
Comments
Haha sure why not? :)) Am not saying the entire idea of using these bad..honestly they help in connecting otherwise unknown families. Just lamenting the lack of judicial use of technology.
I think the marriage portals seem to be just a starting point where you may scan CVs of potential candidates unobtrusively and get a shortlist for the second round. I suspect that there may come a time that consultants may be hired to handle the first few rounds and the bride and groom might come in only at the very last stage. hehehehe