Monday, November 22, 2010

Marriage and everything else...

He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss." -- Anonymous

And that I say, is the key to most happy married life. ;) But jokes apart marriage has a away of growing upon you. Its a wonder what good companionship can actually do. In the age where quarter-life-crisis is the norm, 5 years of being married (with a child in tow) can be considered close to eternity. And going by this standard, it qualifies me to get a little preachy too.

However am not going to abuse my reader's sensibilities by stating the mundane of not stepping over each other's toes or ask to whisper sweet nothings all the time. Heck, there are times when all you would want is whack your spouse for mulling over a lost wicket while your child is contemplating using the sofa cushion as his potty-seat.

Marriage is just like - say shopping. You itch to wear that new outfit at every given opportunity till the sheen wears off. Not saying you discard your spouse like a well-worn dress, rather with the passage of time it gives the same comfiness of wearing your snug-fit old jeans. Bad comparison but conveys the message.

Sure its all cream and dream when things are going your way but life is adept at throwing the seemingly impossible situations. Do not pretend that he has no flaws or delude yourself that giving in just to avoid squabbles will lead to marital bliss.
Children, in-laws, finances, career, friends, personal priorities etc are all factors that only compounds the issue. Being good at either tennis or badminton and mastering different serves can sure come handy. :p Actually there is no single solution for a happy marriage, especially in today's times when there is so much extra pressure from all corners.

A good friend of mine is contemplating an affair just to get back at his super busy wife who hardly has time for him. Another ex-colleague of my hubby divorced his wife on grounds of cordiality. She refused to return to his house after the delivery of her son and he promptly divorced her. Today he has remarried and has another child. An old schoolmate's husband ditched her for another since he could not handle the responsibilities of being a father! These are real people and not a figment of any imagination.

It is the age of instant gratification where even advertisements goad you to move on, even so it makes one wonder if relationships are so fickle afterall? Its funny actually when I narrate them to my mom and my grandmom who have been married for more than half a century put together.I agree it helps not to judge others and possibly they all had their own valid reasons but it sure is unnerving. A friend of mine who is single surmised the other day "Marriage is definitely not for the faint-hearted, you know". I laughed and brushed aside her worries but maybe it means something.

Having said all this the joy of knowing there is somebody who loves you for what you are, without any reservations and will stand by you whatever may come, makes life worth living all over again. Here's wishing you all the same kind of happiness.

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